Saturday, 25 August 2018

Majority of Stuff can be fixed, but only by those willing to pay the price

Today, I am a vender of good tidings, but one that comes with responsibility. You see, our century has taught us enough times that wo/men are created in the image of a creative genius, to creatively handle challenges as they arise. For example, the genius that is wo/man got a solution for the longitudinal and altitudinal space that separated geographical zones, and today, one can have breakfast in Budapest, lunch in Lagos and dinner in Doha. Again, consider the case of conjoined twinsPatrick and Benjamin Binder (born February 2, 1987 in Germany) joined in the head, and who were separated at John Hopkins Hospital on September 7, 1987. The first twins to be successfully separated by neurosurgeon Ben Carson, of Baltimore, Maryland. Yes;

…history has shown us time and again that humans find a novel solution for every problem they devote themselves to solve.

HOWEVER, whether it is man overcoming snowy seasons or conquering the moon, the narratives of the price that man had to pay are never told as often as the victories that followed. Consider for example that the Space Shuttle Challenger and Space Shuttle Columbia, the two space shuttles that had the worst space accidents, after disintegrating in space, with all crew members paying the ultimate price.  

What is my point? Broke has a solution, poverty has a solution, unhealthy addictions are solvable, loss can be overcome, relationships can be mended, the wildest dreams can be realised, all your hopes can be achieved, all broken stuff in your life can be fixed if you are willing to meet the threshold costs. But for those not willing to solve their challenges, they soon begin dissolving in them.

Monday, 13 August 2018

Stress …where capacity building comes in

More often than not, when the psychological construct; stress is addressed, rarely does capacity building feature as an antidote for the forever increasing stress levels in personal, professional, corporate and community worlds of the 21st century. The more obvious topics such as ‘identifying stressors,' 'dealing with stress, coping with stress,' 'overcoming stress,' 'indications that you are stressed …’ have taken center stage. BUT, until the intrinsic underlying mechanisms that support the development of stress, and its later psychosomatic expression are understood, the possibility of dealing with this monster may remain a mirage that we never get to.
At its basic description, STRESS is the BODY’S way of RESPONDING to any kind of DEMAND or THREAT; real or imagined, and the 21st century offers a great deal of such demands and threats. According to the DISCREPANCY THEORY, individuals utilise internalised ‘self-guides’ as standards to ‘judge’ themselves. That is, when faced by a demanding or threatening situation, individuals evaluate the discrepancy between the demands or threats vis-a-vis their perceived capacity to meet such demands. The greater the gap between the demands and perceived capacity to mitigate them, the greater the emotional discomfort the individual is likely to experience. Two scenarios arise from this conceptualization; (i) When a problem is perceived to be within an individual’s capabilities, then strategies are put in place to deal with the problem, (ii) When a challenge is perceived as beyond an individual’s capabilities, resulting is emotional and psychological turmoil. This second scenario results in deployment emotional strategies to deal with threatening situations, and stress may be inevitable when such strategies are not coupled with the appropriate thoughts and actions. Of importance to note here is the word ‘perceived’…the indication that such representation of self may not necessarily be quantifiable, but rather a lack of believe in one’s capabilities, i.e. low self-efficacy beliefs (where self-efficacy refers to the optimistic self-belief in our competence or abilities to successfully accomplish a task and produce favourable results)
The idea is, don’t wish for less challenging situations in life, rather, work to build your mental, physical, social and financial capacity to meet the demands that will definitely arise.
The 21st century realities need to be matched with requisite abilities if current stress levels are to be mitigated. More important, in the wake of cut-throat competition in personal, corporate and business worlds brought about by technological advancement, individuals hoping not to be swallowed by the bottomless pit of the 21st century stresses must increase their hard skills, as well as their soft skills. We all must all go to the grindstone to hone our skills, and let SKILL MASTERY be our starting point, EXCELLENCE be our modus operandi, then grace all these with OPTIMISTIC SELF-BELIEF in your competences and abilities to successfully accomplish a task and produce favourable results

Building capacity in this manner ensures that the gap between daily demands and our abilities to meet them is forever narrowing, and stress levels go down with then!

Sunday, 12 August 2018

Futile thinking, Fruitless living

Thoughts are things. And whereas they cannot be weighed in ounces, the very things they produce can be weighty. By DEFAULT, men and women alike process tens of thousands of thoughts in a day, 80% of which are only repetitive thoughts; the very ones they had the previous day, and even worse, 70% those thoughts are by default negative. This default unconscious thinking is futile in that it is POINTLESS, INEFFECTUAL, WORTHLESS, AND INCAPABLE OF PRODUCING ANY USEFUL RESULT …it is FRUITLESS!
One of the greatest discoveries of this generation, as the great Psychologist, William James noted, is that A HUMAN BEING CAN ALTER THEIR LIFE BY ALTERING THEIR THINKING.  This points to the possibility of deliberately choosing positive thoughts over negative thoughts (since the mind is incapable of actively holding two opposing thoughts at the same time), to deliberately process the activities of our minds in a manner that empowers us rather than drains us of vital energies to pursue our ideas. More importantly, the very crucial ABILITY TO IMAGINE (to create experiences, to synthesize experiences in our minds in the absence of the physical presence or previous memories of what such experiences represent) is an important skill to cultivate. It is only in our thinking that we become limitless, and through the same, we break through our current limitations …and so finally,
…whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things

Friday, 10 August 2018

RAW LOVE ...Love Defined through the eyes of a child

A group of professionals posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See 7 Amazing definitions of love through the eyes of a child...

1. When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.

2. Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.

3. Love is when daddy makes coffee for mommy and he takes a sip before giving it to her, to make sure the taste is OK.

4. Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford

5. During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.

6. You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.

7.Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.

Who is in your Orbital?

I read somewhere that the opposite of networking is NOT-WORKING. I totally agree. 
Remember the atom in chemistry lessons? It has orbitals within which electrons orbit in circular motion. The way an electron or electrons spin is totally depended on what other electrons are in its orbital. Yes, the proximity of other electrons will either positively or negatively affect how the electrons spin in their orbital... 
In this life, how  you are going to spin, personally or professionally will largely depend on who is in your orbital:- your circle of friends. 

The six spiritual virtues

Control of the MIND

Control of the SENSES